<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<rss version="2.0"
	xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"
	xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/"
	xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/"
	xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom"
	xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/"
	xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/"
	>

<channel>
	<title>ComfortBetrays.com &#187; pride</title>
	<atom:link href="http://www.comfortbetrays.com/tag/pride/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://www.comfortbetrays.com</link>
	<description></description>
	<lastBuildDate>Sun, 22 Jan 2012 01:27:30 +0000</lastBuildDate>
	<language>en</language>
	<sy:updatePeriod>hourly</sy:updatePeriod>
	<sy:updateFrequency>1</sy:updateFrequency>
	<generator>http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1</generator>
		<item>
		<title>Rick Holland on Leadership</title>
		<link>http://www.comfortbetrays.com/2011/05/rick-holland-on-leadership/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=rick-holland-on-leadership</link>
		<comments>http://www.comfortbetrays.com/2011/05/rick-holland-on-leadership/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 31 May 2011 13:30:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Daniel</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[General]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bible]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[character]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Children]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[church]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COC]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[college]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[criticism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[decisions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[devotions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[discipleship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[energy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[followers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[friendships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[girls]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[God]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[godliness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Grace Community Church]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[guys]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humility]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[influence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[interviews]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jesus Christ]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[John MacArthur]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kids]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mind]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[money]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[motivations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[opportunities]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[prayer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pride]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[providence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[quotes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[reading]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[responsibility]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rick Holland]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[serving]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sovereignty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spiritual]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[strengths]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[weaknesses]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.comfortbetrays.com/?p=769</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Recently I had the privilege of hearing some of the best advice on leadership, coming from someone who has made a noticeable impact on my life over the last year and a half. This was a question and answer time between Rick Holland and a group of 50 of us young men (college age and recently [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_789" class="wp-caption alignright" style="width: 156px"><img class="size-full wp-image-789    " title="Rick Holland" src="http://www.comfortbetrays.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/rick_holland-2.jpg" alt="" width="146" height="139" /><p class="wp-caption-text">Photo: www.Resolved.org</p></div>
<p>Recently I had the privilege of hearing some of the best advice on leadership, coming from someone who has made a noticeable impact on my life over the last year and a half. This was a question and answer time between Rick Holland and a group of 50 of us young men (college age and recently out of college) who are involved in a weekly Grace Community Church Bible study that meets on the campus of College of the Canyons (Santa Clarita, CA). Rick Holland has faithfully served as the pastor over college ministry at Grace Community Church for the last 14 years, and is now moving out to Kansas City to be a full-time pastor at Mission Road Bible Church. The wisdom and maturity he has devoloped over the years of ministry quickly become evident, and my purpose in transcribing some of his quotes here is to encourage and challenge other Christian guys in my life to consider additional ways they can purposefully pursue leadership. Since these are only select quotes with minimal context, you&#8217;ll definitely want to <a href="http://gococ.com/Sermons.aspx">download the full audio</a> from this event (4/27/11) and listen when time permits.</p>
<div><span style="color: #ffffff;">.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">- &#8211; -</div>
<div>“Leadership is comprised primarily of influence and decision making.”<br />
&#8212;<br />
&#8220;A leader is defined by his second decision. A real leader knows how to make a second decision when his first one was the wrong one.&#8221; (Quoting John MacArthur here).<br />
&#8212;<br />
“Every one of you guys at some level and in some dimension are influencers and decision makers.”<br />
&#8212;<br />
“If you don&#8217;t lead yourself, someone else will. And that leadership of yourself has to be attached to the Lord.”<br />
&#8212;<br />
“A spiritual leader is first and foremost attached to God in his dependence.”<br />
&#8212;<br />
“The women who are in your life will have the most spiritual influence on who you are.”<br />
&#8212;<br />
“The way that you use your money defines your spiritual leadership.”<br />
&#8212;<br />
“You’re going to die with nothing&#8211;spend money on people, spend money for ministries.”<br />
&#8212;<br />
“Humility is the signature of spiritual leadership.”<br />
&#8212;<br />
“True spiritual leaders are a tremendous minority. And I’d like to see this group change that equation.”<br />
&#8212;<br />
<span style="color: #ffffff;">.</span><br />
[Open for question &amp; answer]<br />
<span style="color: #ffffff;">.</span><br />
&#8212;<br />
“Do you guys understand how few people in the history of the church have gone to seminary?”<br />
&#8212;<br />
&#8220;If you&#8217;re pulling hard at the oars of your character, you’re going to have influence and make good decisions. It doesn’t matter how old you are… There’s a great illustration I heard a long time ago that it’s not how long you’ve been sitting in the boat that determines how far you are across the lake; it’s how hard you’ve been pulling at the oars.”<br />
&#8212;<br />
(Question: “How does a guy in practice—for the people pursuing normal jobs, normal careers—to what level should they be pursuing church involvement, church leadership?”)<br />
“That’s a great question, and the answer is: As much as you can possibly give. Give your free time to the Lord and to the church. Put away with childish things, turn the video games off and disciple somebody.”<br />
“Give your singleness to the church…give all of that extra energy to serving in the church. You have credibility in giving leadership in the church that even full time pastors don’t.”<br />
&#8212;<br />
(Question: “Practically, what do you do with your wife in leading her—do you go through books together…?”)<br />
“We’ve done a lot of things. We’ve gone through books together, we’ve gone through books of the Bible together, we’ve gone through things with our kids together, we’ve gone through things with our kids apart. All those things are helpful, but&#8211;this might shock you a bit&#8211;Kim and I rarely have devotions together… When she’s walking with the Lord individually, and when I’m walking with the Lord individually, we don’t have official devotions, but everything becomes devotional. We’re always talking about ministry and the things of the lord and the things she’s learning…”<br />
&#8212;<br />
(Question on timing for daily reading of the Bible)<br />
“Please don&#8217;t fall into the mythology that ‘I’m a morning person, I’m an evening person.’ That’s physiologically impossible. How do I know that? I was just in England this past weekend. When you’re in another place and you have to sleep at different times, and you’re forced to do that, you can. If you chase time zones your body can adjust to anything.”<br />
&#8212;<br />
(Question on how discipleship works)<br />
“It was Barnabas and Paul, Barnabas and Paul…and then it [became] Paul and Barnabas, Paul and Barnabas, and then Paul. Barnabas had a tremendous influence on Paul in the beginning of his faith… Spiritual friendships are discipleship.”<br />
&#8212;<br />
(Question on making the decisions in a household)<br />
“A leader is not the guy who makes all the decisions—he’s the guy that’s responsible for the decisions that are made.”<br />
“The best leaders I&#8217;ve seen give away the successes of a decision (if it’s successful) and they own all of the responsibility if something goes bad.”<br />
&#8212;<br />
“Ultimately the test of your leadership is in what the people under your influence are becoming like, and that’s humbling. Which tells you, by the way&#8211;on discipleship, I don’t believe in this whole ‘I have one disciple.’ I think you should have a few people in your life, because you’re going to adopt their strengths and weaknesses, and you want some overlap of those strengths and weaknesses between different people.”<br />
&#8212;<br />
“We all live in this myth that to be a leader, you have to have a position of leadership.”<br />
&#8212;<br />
“The guys who I’ve eventually seen become the best leaders were always good followers, because a good leader knows what it’s like to have people following you, and knows what it’s like to be treated well and treated poorly under oppressive and servant leadership.<br />
&#8212;<br />
“You guys should be leadership factories. You’re chewing it all up, you’re saying ‘I want to do that. Oh I don’t want to do that. I want to talk like that; I don’t want to sound like that… always processing. Pick the flowers and leave the weeds in the leadership opportunities that you see in front of you.”<br />
&#8212;<br />
(Question on how young men can avoid pride that comes with leadership)<br />
“Pride is always the consequence of observing yourself and not observing Jesus. If you keep your mind on Christ, it’s going to mitigate and control your pride. If Jesus is part of your life and not the point of your life, I don’t know how you could ever check pride. Pride is always, always crushed by a healthy view of God, and there’s no better view of God than of Jesus.”<br />
&#8212;<br />
“If you don&#8217;t think Jesus is great, you will think you’re great. There isn&#8217;t room for two great people in your life. Either you, or God. So make it simple.”<br />
&#8212;<br />
(On spending time with his young sons)<br />
“Our Monday Man School is entirely devoted to doing man things. I’ve taught the boys how to tie a couple of knots on ties—here’s what you use if you have a thick fabric, here’s what you use if you have a thin fabric. We have ‘How to Dress’ night—if you’re dressing up your belt has to match your shoes. Your pants and shirt need to be ironed… We did how to shave… we have a book we’re going through that’s an old book on chivalry—on how to treat a lady… sometimes Kim [Rick’s wife] comes in and talks about how to treat a lady…”<br />
&#8212;<br />
(On doing activities with his children)<br />
“The last time I took Mark out—and I think this was a spiritual moment—we played ‘Dots.’… And you know why? Because Mark said ‘Dad can we play Dots?’ And I said ‘Yeah, we can.’ I heard Sinclair Ferguson say one time through Eric Bancroft that it’s important to tie as many strings to kids heart as you can—spiritual and in general interest—so that if they ever struggle spiritually, you have other roads that are attached to their heart, other strings to their heart. If my son is struggling spiritually, I know he likes long boarding so we can talk about long boarding.”<br />
&#8212;<br />
(Question on receiving criticism)<br />
“I think godliness begins to say ‘What can I find in this criticism that’s true, and recognize that their perception—are you ready for this—their perception of you is their reality of you. And so you have to deal with that perception realistically.”<br />
“Your first response to criticism is rarely going to be a good one.”<br />
&#8212;<br />
“I’ve come to believe I love sovereignty. Sovereignty is way up there, God is on the throne&#8211;praise God. Sovereignty is easy. Providence is what’s hard. Providence is when sovereignty gets in your life. And he orchestrates things in your life that mess with your peace, and mess you’re your character, and mess with your sense of well-being.”<br />
&#8212;<br />
(Question on how Rick stepped up during a difficult time in his life, specifically his newborn son’s staph infection bringing them to the Intensive Care Unit)<br />
“They had IVs in his head, his feet his arms. We had to go up with masks and gowns to even be with him for the ten days he was in the hospital. The first two days we thought he was going to die. I remember writing him a letter saying goodbye to him. So Kim was a greater help to me than I was to her at that time, but I think the only thing we knew to do was pray. That was a problem I couldn’t solve, no matter how much leadership I had, I couldn’t fix that.”<br />
&#8212;<br />
<span style="color: #ffffff;">.</span><br />
<em>Download the full audio of this interview through the website for Grace Community Church’s ministry at College of the Canyons (in Santa Clarita, CA). <a href="http://gococ.com/Sermons.aspx">Audio file listed online under &#8220;Leadership &#8211; Rick Holland &#8211; 4/27/11.&#8221;</a> Full audio length: 1 hr 17 minutes. A big thank you to Rick Holland for speaking on this topic, while continually striving to live out what he speaks about. Rick Holland has a new book called &#8220;Uneclipsing the Son,&#8221; releasing this summer from Kress Biblical Resources.<br />
<span style="color: #ffffff;">.</span></em></div>
<div><span style="color: #ffffff;"><em>.</em></span></div>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.comfortbetrays.com/2011/05/rick-holland-on-leadership/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Surely we can&#8217;t be quite creatures? (CS Lewis)</title>
		<link>http://www.comfortbetrays.com/2010/07/surely-we-cant-be-quite-creatures-cs-lewis/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=surely-we-cant-be-quite-creatures-cs-lewis</link>
		<comments>http://www.comfortbetrays.com/2010/07/surely-we-cant-be-quite-creatures-cs-lewis/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 22 Jul 2010 05:43:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Daniel</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[General]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Christianity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[creatures]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cs lewis]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[God]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humility]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paul Bunyan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pride]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://comfortbetrays.com/blog/?p=238</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;All those expressions of unworthiness which Christian practice puts into the believer&#8217;s mouth seem to the outer world like the degraded and insincere grovellings of a sycophant before a tyrant, or at best a façon de parler like the self-depreciation of a Chinese gentleman when he calls himself &#8220;this course and illiterate person&#8221;. In reality, however, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0156329301?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=historyofthei-20&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=0156329301"><img class="alignright size-thumbnail wp-image-578" title="CS Lewis - The Four Loves" src="http://www.comfortbetrays.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/CS_Lewis_The_Four_Loves-e1279777290643-97x150.jpg" alt="CS Lews - The 4 Loves book cover" width="97" height="150" /></a>&#8220;All those expressions of unworthiness which Christian practice puts into the believer&#8217;s mouth seem to the outer world like the degraded and insincere grovellings of a sycophant before a tyrant, or at best a <em>façon de parler</em> like the self-depreciation of a Chinese gentleman when he calls himself &#8220;this course and illiterate person&#8221;. In reality, however, they express the continually renewed, because continually necessary, attempt to negate that misconception of ourselves and of our relation to God which nature, even while we pray, is always recommending to us. No sooner do we believe that God loves us than there is an impulse to believe that He does so, not because He is Love, but because we are intrinsically lovable. The Pagans obeyed this impulse unabashed; a good man was &#8220;dear to the gods&#8221; because he was good. We, being better taught, resort to subterfuge. Far be it from us to think that we have virtues for which God could love us. But then, how magnificantly we have repented! As Paul Bunyan says, describing his first and illusory conversion, &#8220;I thought there was no man in England that pleased God better than I.&#8221; Beaten out of this, we next offer our own humility to God&#8217;s admiration. Surely He&#8217;ll like <em>that</em>? Or if not that, our clear-sighted and humble recognition that we still lack humility. Thus, depth beneath depth and subtlety within subtlety, there remains some lingering idea of our own, our very own, attractiveness. It is easy to acknowledge, but almost impossible to realise for long, that we are mirrors whose brightness, if we are bright, is wholly derived from the sun that shines upon us. Surely we must have a little—however little—native luminosity? Surely we can&#8217;t be <em>quite </em>creatures?&#8221;</p>
<p>-  <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0156329301?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=historyofthei-20&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=0156329301">The Four Loves</a>, by C.S. Lewis</p>
<p><span style="color: #ffffff;">.</span></p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.comfortbetrays.com/2010/07/surely-we-cant-be-quite-creatures-cs-lewis/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>What motorcycle riding and life have in common</title>
		<link>http://www.comfortbetrays.com/2010/07/what-motorcycle-riding-and-life-have-in-common/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=what-motorcycle-riding-and-life-have-in-common</link>
		<comments>http://www.comfortbetrays.com/2010/07/what-motorcycle-riding-and-life-have-in-common/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 21 Jul 2010 13:25:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Daniel</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[General]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[choices]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[focus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[motorcycles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pride]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.comfortbetrays.com/?p=564</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A few things that riding a motorcycle has in common with life: You are where you look: focus on where you want to go next. It&#8217;s important to know who and what is behind you, but you cannot let it become your focus. Lose your focus and you&#8217;ll have some close calls or something worse. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="size-thumbnail wp-image-566  alignright" title="My 2008 Suzuki SV650 motorcycle" src="http://www.comfortbetrays.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/Suzuki_sv650_motorcycle-e1279688825477-150x118.jpg" alt="My dark grey 2008 Suzuki SV650 bike (with fairing)" width="150" height="118" /></p>
<p>A few things that riding a motorcycle has in common with life:</p>
<ul>
<li>You are where you look: focus on where you want to go next. It&#8217;s important to know who and what is behind you, but you cannot let it become your focus. Lose your focus and you&#8217;ll have some close calls or something worse.</li>
<li>If you&#8217;re doing it out of pride, rethink it. That applies just as much to picking your first bike as it does to racing strangers on the road.</li>
<li>Taking a passenger along changes things. You may need to make adjustments for their sake.</li>
<li>Stay alert. What&#8217;s around you is constantly changing. The environment you&#8217;re in, the people you&#8217;re around, the obstacles in the road. Be aware of them in case you need to adjust speed, change courses, or even come to a stop.</li>
<li>Gear up. Get prepared before you ride by buying good gear, then take the time to actually put it on. Laziness is no excuse when avoiding something that could hurt you. Maybe you just wanted to feel comfortable instead, but you&#8217;re going to regret that in the long run.</li>
<li>Take in advice from those who are more experienced than you. Watch them to understand, listen to their tips, and avoid their bad choices.</li>
</ul>
<p>I&#8217;m sure my friends who have been riding for longer than I have could give additional advice or go more in depth, maybe about carefully choosing who you ride with, or slowing down for the curves. Of course the two subjects here don&#8217;t completely relate, and we&#8217;re not even diving into deeper motivations behind these simple bullet points, so I won&#8217;t stretch the analogy to make things fit. For example: Ride like everyone is out to run you over is great advice on the bike, but paranoia in life is not such a good thing. It&#8217;s true that on a motorcycle you can do everything in your power to prepare for the worst and still get into trouble, just as in life the same can happen, but I&#8217;ll be the first to admit that the choice to ride a motorcycle is not nearly as safe as choosing to be in a car, where you&#8217;re more protected from whatever is coming at you&#8211;that is if safety is your number one concern. So the analogy breaks down, but that doesn&#8217;t mean we can&#8217;t learn <em>something</em> from it.</p>
<p><span style="color: #ffffff;">.</span></p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.comfortbetrays.com/2010/07/what-motorcycle-riding-and-life-have-in-common/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>One week from now: Thoughts on marriage</title>
		<link>http://www.comfortbetrays.com/2010/06/one-week-from-now-thoughts-on-marriage/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=one-week-from-now-thoughts-on-marriage</link>
		<comments>http://www.comfortbetrays.com/2010/06/one-week-from-now-thoughts-on-marriage/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 05 Jun 2010 15:17:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Daniel</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[General]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bias]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[compatibility]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[convictions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[discrimination]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[God]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[husband]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paul Tripp]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pride]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rick Holland]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[safety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stuart Scott]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tv]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wife]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.comfortbetrays.com/?p=468</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[One week from now, I&#8217;m marrying the sweetest young lady I&#8217;ve ever known. It&#8217;s the second most important decision of my life, and after getting to know this amazing woman over the last few years, I must say that I have no doubts about whether or not I&#8217;m making the right choice. Here are a [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.comfortbetrays.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/marriage.jpg"><img class="alignright size-thumbnail wp-image-471" title="marriage" src="http://www.comfortbetrays.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/marriage-150x150.jpg" alt="marriage" width="150" height="150" /></a>One week from now, I&#8217;m marrying the sweetest young lady I&#8217;ve ever known. It&#8217;s the second most important decision of my life, and after getting to know this amazing woman over the last few years, I must say that I have no doubts about whether or not I&#8217;m making the right choice. Here are a few of my thoughts.</p>
<ul>
<li>One week from now, the sin I fight against inside of me will have a magnifying glass put over it by the constant closeness of another, and yet one week from now, God&#8217;s process of sanctification for his children will give my wife and I the opportunity to begin dealing with deeper underlying problems that we never knew God wanted us to confront in our own lives. As Rick Holland describes marriage, it&#8217;s &#8220;an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person.&#8221;</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>One week from now, I&#8217;ll be financially responsible for someone. Yes, there will be tension, but it&#8217;s how I deal with my own selfish pride in that moment that counts.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>One week from now, I&#8217;ll finalize my full commitment to her alone, in the form of a vow before God, witnessed by friends and family.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>One week from now, I will be bound to reject the temptations of in any way pursuing other women, appearing to do so, or even accepting the advances of any other woman, for the sake of Karen knowing she is the only one that matters to me. Call this a positive bias in her favor or a discrimination against the pursuit of all others if you will.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>One week from now, there will still be just as many, if not more people watching to see how things turn out for the two of us, or as Stuart Scott put it in The Exemplary Husband, &#8220;We need to remember that we already are some sort of example to others. The question is, what kind?&#8221;</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>One week from now, I will be committed to her safety, to the point where I will not be tolerant of that which harms her. This intolerance will apply to physical threats, emotional dangers, spiritual misguidance, or anything that threatens to destroy my relationship with her.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>One week from now, the two of us are committing to a first-year ban on the habit of the passive entertainment of television-show series that we&#8217;d rather not even give the chance to distance us from getting to know each other. We&#8217;ll revisit the need for this voluntary ban after we&#8217;ve had more time to analyze it&#8217;s potential benefits.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>One week from now, I&#8217;m not going to stop giving her flowers or chocolate! (And we&#8217;ll still be going out on dates).</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>One week from now, we&#8217;ll be able to look back on our convictions about why we made the choices we did, and the relationship will become all that much more valuable to both of us as we reflect on the purposeful and sometimes temporarily painful discipline it took to faithfully wait for each other, despite the constant temptations that at any point could have overtaken our resolve if it weren&#8217;t for the daily grace of God. 1 Corinthians 10:13: &#8220;God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.&#8221;</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>One week from now, the excuse that &#8220;I don&#8217;t know if we&#8217;re compatible&#8221; will be as convincing in my mind as the rhetoric of a four year old telling his mom he doesn&#8217;t want to take a nap, as Karen and I discover that OF COURSE we&#8217;re not naturally &#8220;compatible&#8221; in popular culture&#8217;s expression, because only God&#8217;s grace can truly walk us through, rather than around, the inevitable challenges we will face in living with each other. (thanks Paul Tripp for the idea behind my analogy!)</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>One week from now, all the advice we&#8217;ve received from the hours of counseling sessions, the overview books, and the DVD segments, not to mention the great role models of our parents and close friends, will become more valuable resources that we look back on to help guide us through miscommunications and disagreements that will arise from the dark sin we all have inside of us as part of fallen humanity that can only look to God for true hope.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Lastly, a year from now, I&#8217;ll probably look back on this list and laugh a little, thinking of all the other things that I had yet to learn about marriage, about my relationship with Karen, and most importantly about God, since that determines our perspectives on everything else in life.</li>
</ul>
<p><span style="color: #ffffff;">.</span></p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.comfortbetrays.com/2010/06/one-week-from-now-thoughts-on-marriage/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
	</channel>
</rss>

