I have Christian friends who refuse to challenge the misconceptions that non-Christians have about Christianity, because they would much rather be thought well of by not rocking the boat than to have anyone look down on them. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m just barely starting to learn what this should look like, and it’s tough to know how to do this with grace, as I’ve often failed in my choice of words, facial expression, tone of voice, or even timing that may not reflect a genuine care from the inside. How I talk to someone about these issues matters (I might even have to first begin with making the case for why these things matter), and the apostle Peter instructed his readers to “do it with gentleness and respect,” seen here:
“Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame.” (1 Peter 3:13-16, from the ESV)
I’ve heard it put this way: the true Gospel message is already offensive, so why let your personality add to it? Don’t get in the way of the message itself so that they’re up against what the Bible is saying instead of the way I’m coming across. That’s right on, and who wouldn’t be offended when shown what the Bible says about you and I constantly living in rebellion against a perfectly Holy God who would be justified to kill us off in an instant–but only for his mercy gives us repeated opportunities to return to him through wholehearted faith in Jesus Christ? Note: for those unsure about where the Bible talks about this, start with the book of Romans; focusing on Romans 3:23, 6:23, and 10:9-13. And for a much bigger view of what God’s character is like, read through the Old Testament while keeping in mind that his character has never changed since then, as verses like James 1:17, Numbers 23:19, or Malachi 3:6 say “For I the LORD do not change.”
By the way, here’s a quick side note that was shown to me years ago. For Peter to tell his readers that they should be prepared to give a reason for the hope inside (and hope in the biblical expression here means something you’re completely sure of), the apostle is assuming that people are going to ask his readers why they’re different! If they blended right in with those around them in the lifestyle they chose, there would be no reason for people to ask what they’re living for, because who would bother to notice?
But what I want to do here is go directly to a book called “Tactics” by Gregory Koukl that has seriously impacted my thinking on all of this, and for that I HIGHLY recommend picking up this book. It’s written to help Christians know how to talk about their convictions, knowing that we already have volumes of material written in defense of the actual claims of the Christian faith, leaving people like myself needing help with maneuvering comfortably and kindly through beneficial conversations. The author also reminds his readers that it should give them confidence when they realize how compared with all the worldviews out there, Christianity is the one that best explains who we are and how we got here. The book cover mentions that Koukl has Masters Degrees in philosophy and in apologetics, he’s spoken at 50+ university campuses, he hosted a radio talk show for 18 years, and founded Stand to Reason (www.str.org).
Here’s an excerpt from what Koukl says when addressing just one of the reservations that Christians have when they try to shy away from these issues:
When people say you can’t argue anyone into the kingdom, they usually have an alternative approach in mind. They might be thinking that a genuine expression of love, kindness, and acceptance, coupled with a simple presentation of the gospel, is a more biblical approach.
If you are tempted to think this way, let me say something that may shock you: You cannot love someone into the kingdom. It can’t be done. In fact, the simple gospel itself is not even adequate to do that job.
How do I know? Because many people who were treated with sacrificial love and kindness by Christians never surrendered to the Savior. Many who have heard a clear explanation of God’s gift in Christ never put their trust in him.
In each case something was missing that, when present, always results in conversion. What’s missing is that special work of the Father that Jesus referred do, drawing a lost soul into his arms (John 6:44). Of this work Jesus also said, “Of all that He has given Me I lose nothing, but raise it up on the last day” (John 6:39).
According to Jesus, then, two things are true. First, there is a particular work of God that is necessary to bring someone into the kingdom. Second, when present, this work cannot fail to accomplish its goal. Without the work of the Spirit, no argument—no matter how persuasive—will be effective. But neither will any act of love nor any simple presentation of the gospel. Add the Spirit, though, and the equation changes dramatically.
Here’s the key principle: Without God’s work, nothing else works, but with God’s work, many things work. Under the influence of the Holy Spirit, love persuades. But the power of God, the gospel transforms. And with Jesus at work, arguments convince. God is happy to use each of these methods. Why do you think God is just as pleased to use a good argument as a warm expression of love? Because both love and reason are consistent with God’s own character. The same God who is the essence of love also gave the invitation, “Come now, and let us reason together.” Therefore, both approaches honor him.
- from “Tactics: A game plan for discussing your Christian convictions” by Greg Koukl, page 36. Foreword by Lee Strobel, endorsed by JP Moreland, Sean McDowell, William Lane Craig, and Norm Geisler.
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Tags: apologetics, arguing, Christianity, christians, faith, God, Greg Koukl, Jesus, love, reasoning, Stand to Reason
I used to set up chairs in church alongside Kevin Mather, before the accident where he was hit on a bicycle by a truck traveling 60mph. That happened just over a year ago, and he’s been busy on a long and tough road to recovery since then, with frequent visits to the hospital in Northridge (where Copperhill Church immediately threw supporting arms around he and his wife after the accident).
